Bullying is No Bueno!

Are you're siblings getting bullied at school?

What are YOU doing to help them?

My little sister came home from school one day. She was in tears and claimed that she was being bullied at school by a group of boys. She had gone out with this boy, broken up with him, and now is being picked on by the boy's friends. Is consoling her and figuring out a solution the responsibility of the oldest? Absolutely!

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Types of Bullying

There are three types of bullying:

• Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
  
  • Teasing
  • Name-calling
  • Inappropriate sexual comments
  • Taunting
  • Threatening to cause harm
• Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
  
  • Leaving someone out on purpose
  • Telling other children not to be friends with someone
  • Spreading rumors about someone
  • Embarrassing someone in public
• Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
• Hitting/kicking/pinching
• Spitting
• Tripping/pushing
• Taking or breaking someone’s things
• Making mean or rude hand gestures

Where and When Bullying Happens 

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like on the playground or the bus. It can also happen travelling to or from school, in the youth’s neighborhood, or on the Internet.

Frequency of Bullying 

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:

• The 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that, nationwide, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.
• The 2008–2009 School Crime Supplement (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) indicates that, nationwide, 28% of students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying.

The Roles Kids Play

There are many roles that kids can play. Kids can bully others, they can be bullied, or they may witness bullying. When kids are involved in bullying, they often play more than one role. Sometimes kids may both be bullied and bully others or they may witness other kids being bullied. It is important to understand the multiple roles kids play in order to effectively prevent and respond to bullying.

• Importance of Not Labeling Kids
• Kids Involved in Bullying

Importance of Not Labeling Kids

When referring to a bullying situation, it is easy to call the kids who bully others "bullies" and those who are targeted "victims," but this may have unintended consequences. When children are labeled as "bullies" or "victims" it may:

• Send the message that the child's behavior cannot change
• Fail to recognize the multiple roles children might play in different bullying situations
• Disregard other factors contributing to the behavior such as peer influence or school climate

Instead of labeling the children involved, focus on the behavior. For instance:

• Instead of calling a child a "bully," refer to them as "the child who bullied"
• Instead of calling a child a "victim," refer to them as "the child who was bullied"
• Instead of calling a child a "bully/victim," refer to them as "the child who was both bullied and bullied others."

Kids Involved in Bullying

The roles kids play in bullying are not limited to those who bully others and those who are bullied. Some researchers talk about the "circle of bullying" to define both those directly involved in bullying and those who actively or passively assist the behavior or defend against it. Direct roles include:

• Kids who Bully: These children engage in bullying behavior towards their peers. There are many risk factors that may contribute to the child's involvement in the behavior. Often, these students require support to change their behavior and address any other challenges that may be influencing their behavior.
• Kids who are Bullied: These children are the targets of bullying behavior. Some factors put children at more risk of being bullied, but not all children with these characteristics will be bullied. Sometimes, these children may need help learning how to respond to bullying.

Even if a child is not directly involved in bullying, they may be contributing to the behavior. Witnessing the behavior may also affect the child, so it is important for them to learn what they should do when they see bullying happen. Roles kids play when they witness bullying include:

• Kids who Assist: These children may not start the bullying or lead in the bullying behavior, but serve as an "assistant" to children who are bullying. These children may encourage the bullying behavior and occasionally join in.
• Kids who Reinforce: These children are not directly involved in the bullying behavior but they give the bullying an audience. They will often laugh or provide support for the children who are engaging in bullying. This may encourage the bullying to continue.
• Outsiders: These children remain separate from the bullying situation. They neither reinforce the bullying behavior nor defend the child being bullied. Some may watch what is going on but do not provide feedback about the situation to show they are on anyone’s side. Even so, providing an audience may encourage the bullying behavior.
  • These kids often want to help, but don’t know how. Learn how to be "more than a bystander."
• Kids who Defend: These children actively comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child's defense when bullying occurs.

Most kids play more than one role in bullying over time. In some cases, they may be directly involved in bullying as the one bullying others or being bullied and in others they may witness bullying and play an assisting or defending role. Every situation is different. Some kids are both bullied and bully others. It is important to note the multiple roles kids play, because:

• Those who are both bullied and bully others may be at more risk for negative outcomes, such as depression or suicidal ideation.
• It highlights the need to engage all kids in prevention efforts, not just those who are known to be directly involved

We can help stop the bullying of our younger siblings by knowing these facts and doing everything we can to get involved and talk to responsible adults to cure this. We should love our family enough to protect them and make sure that they think life at home and at school are safe places. What are you doing to show your love to your siblings who are being bullied?

*Source --> http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html

GRADUATION!!

It's so crazy that I'm graduating here in a little bit! I honestly couldn't have done it without the support of my family and friends and all of my wonderful teachers who have taught me many important things. Graduation is something that you'll remember for the rest of your life, and something to cherish and look back upon for ever and ever.

BUT... enough about me! The fact I want to point out is that I'm the first one in my family to graduate. Is that an important fact to point out? I think it is! It's because it means that you're setting the standards and the example for the rest of your younger siblings.

I have an old friend who has two older brothers and a younger sister. His family is the perfect example of this concept. The oldest brother was an average student -- mostly B's and maybe a few C's. He graduated though, and got into college and became successful in life. The next brother slacked off and didn't do as well, and claimed that "he couldn't be as good as his brother was." So, he graduated, but never went to college. The third is my age, but instead of making the effort to get good grades and get into a good college, he dropped out of high school and promised he'd try his best to get his GED. See the trend? I pray that the youngest girl will have higher hopes and pursue more in high school!

Now I will bring up a family that is the polar opposite of this one -- perfect kids, bright students, adamant go-getters, and healthy bodies. They consist of four kids, two boys and two girls. The oldest was SBO president, graduated with a 4.00 GPA, and is going on a mission in the next couple of weeks. The second oldest is now a class officer and was on seminary council last year, getting straight A's and being a fantastic friend to everyone. The third and fourth are too young to really judge, but they are all bright students and fantastic children. The higher the bar is set by the oldest, the higher the chances the rest of the kids of graduating and being successful will be.

It's Mother's Day!!

What did you do for the mothers in your life this morning? Did you get her flowers? A box of chocolates? Maybe you gave her breakfast in bed? Every little thing you did to brighten her day a little more was very much appreciated.

In our family, we make sure our mother is as comfortable as possible. This mother's day, we got her favorite roses: the pink ones with white tips. Then, we got her a box of white chocolate-covered strawberries and a matching zebra patterned blanket. We all signed a Thomas Kinkade card, which is her most favorite artist. Crafty mother's day gifts were given from the three youngest girls and two rockstar energy drinks were included.

Of course, our mothers deserve something like this:

But, sometimes, all you can afford to get is this:

Trust me when I say that mothers definitely follow the saying "It's the thought that counts." There was a time when I thought I was so cool because I had my own money and I could finally go out and get mom a real present, not some goofy looking card that I spent hours trying to get the heart to curve right. I went to the store with my dad and he helped me pick out a purse with a matching wallet, a pair of earrings, and a tile that said, "When God created mothers, I was given the best." Of course I thought this would be the best Mother's Day ever. I finally had enough money to go pick out something that my mom could actually use. But, when she opened up her present, something didn't look right. She didn't have that same natural glow as she did with the other girls' presents that were hand-made and thought out. She definitely was appreciative and thankful, but she wasn't as excited about it.

The next year, I took another route. Instead of buying a nice wallet and a cute purse with awesome earrings on the side, I bought paper. Real, tangible, mold-able paper. What I wanted to do wasn't magnificent or spectacular in any way, but thoughtful and low-key. We had church one early Sunday morning and we all left together, but we didn't come back together. I came home early, made a few signs with the paper I bought and taped them to the garage. I also made a huge card out of a poster and taped it to the garage as well. The tears in my mom's eyes when she came home to this display was priceless.

What I learned from this experience is this: your mother will never get bored with the old-fashioned card on Mother's Day. As long as it's heart felt and low-key, you can never go wrong. Tell her you love her. Tell her what you love most about her. Write down old memories and fun times you've had together. Be real, and she'll see you're love and appreciation for her is also real.

My name is Bree, and my life is pretty insane! Being the eldest of five girls is not easy, but it sure makes every day a heck of an adventure! And what makes things even better, we all have different interests and personalities. I am the responsible go-getter who is into dancing and reading good novels. Hailee is the active one who loves hanging out with friends and chilling out in the sun. Aspynn is our sassy diva who loves to get primped up to stay at home and party to her music. Kamree loves to draw, and is very talented in whatever artistic inspirations she wants to pursue. And Saydee, well, she's the comedian of the gang, and always strives to make people laugh! We are all different, but we are all one great big loving family.

Welcome to "Baskin' In Bree's World"!

 

For those of you who have younger siblings who make you want to pull your hair out, I feel your pain! Please follow for some helpful tips and funny stories as I share my life as the oldest of five girls who all have their own personality, schedule, hobbies, and spunky style!